Self Matters
This section contains not even a handful of books I’ve read over the years that will change the way you think about things, forever. They did for me. Each were either discovered or recommended and all of them have been re-read a number of times.
One of my all time favorite books is “The Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book.” by Don Miguel Ruiz and was introduced to me by one of my brothers. It is excellent!!
This thoughtful little book gets to the root of what might be stopping us from reaching our fullest potential and offers Four Agreements to help us get there. The Four Agreements are: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Don’t Take Anything Personally. Don’t Make Assumptions and Always Do Your Best. I say simply because they’re easy to remember and easier to be woven into the fabric of your daily routine. There is a promise in this book that the difference you see will start immediately and this is no joke. In fact, the moment I begin to think about just one of the agreements, everything shifts. The sudden shift I’m speaking about happens I think because the Toltec wisdom it passes down speaks to how we become conditioned. Specifically, there is an understanding that we can become conditioned to internalize negative information about ourselves. It suggests several places where this information could be generating from, then how it forms into information we hold about ourselves. It kind of reminds me of when I learned about the pygmalion effect a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Who you are, where you come from, and the messages about yourself you received and took in, could have a tremendous impact on your beliefs about yourself and your potential. The author speaks to ways of breaking free from these kinds of conditioning, negative conditioning, or negative agreements we have made with ourselves for one reason or another, and uses the principles to guide us into making new ones. Oh and by the way, he doesn’t leave out the effects of positive messages either, yet within the Four Agreements suggestions are offered for balance. It works. The photo of this book and others to follow are compliments of Amazon.com.
Another of my all time favorites is “Care of the Soul” by Thomas Moore.
This book for me was like a canvas of life’s possibilities with a gentle and earnest invitation to look at self, embrace shortcomings and offers guidance for alternative approaches to difficult and/or common situations. What I was left with each time I’ve read it was permission to take care of my spirit, every day, in the middle of everyday and everyday occurrences. The author describes in the introduction part of the reason he wrote this book, “…we have lost our wisdom about the soul.” Oh, I do love this book. It’s timeless. It was published in 1992 and in it was the idea that what the author named “Psychological Modernism” be added to the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual). He raised concerns about the effects of our modern world and what is so beautiful is his contribution to bridge how we live with matters of the heart.
Astounding, rich, and applicable. The author states “Maybe life is set up in such a way that the soul is neglected habitually. Problems are part of every human life, and they do not necessarily wither the soul. The soul suffers more from the everyday conditions of life when they do not nourish it with the solid experiences it craves.” He boldly, in a gentle loving way asks, ‘What have you done today to nourish your soul?’ The author describes “Jung’s Tower’ and throughout the book offers suggestions for how to do that. In this section he describes creating a space for yourself, a “personal temple” which each of us can do. Though my home has always been my temple, I converted every space or office I worked in since reading this book into a personal place of refuge! In the case of Jung, what happened was he according to the author, was eventually surrounded by a time line of his “…past and prophetically into the future.” He described this as “A technical orchestration of care of the soul. He suggests that we can adopt what Jung did and surround ourselves with items related to our histories, our ancestors and future goals. These are just little examples of the number of things Mr. Moore offers as ways to nourish the soul without it having to do with religion.
My first copy of this next all time favorite book, “Sacred Path of the Warrior” by Chogyam Trungpa, was read so many times, it fell apart.
Granted, it was an older copy. The second copy was read so much the binding became undone. I now refer to the third copy. This book will make you get up and do, or be quiet with an inner strength, and do, or do both or, do something else, or do nothing if it’s time for you to do nothing. It’s about administering your own affairs well in this life and becoming a grounded, Warrior in all you do. Thinking about this book actually makes me want to start cleaning. Yes, the author talks about being mindful of everything you’re doing. To do things like it’s the last thing you’re going to do. The way you pick up your fork and eat, or pick up a cup of coffee. The author also talks about being comfortable in your clothes, comfortable in your skin, and how much effort are you making to address how you feel in your clothes. Are they fitting in a way that is not a confident feeling fit for you? Getting to the ‘cleaning’ part, he discusses how we’re keeping our environment. Is it cluttered, neat? I also took this to mean office space too. He described something called “Dralas” which are great forces of positivity. Dralas only come around when there is space and things are tidy. They will not enter an area that is not clean. So, whenever things get ‘untidy’ I start to clean. As mention earlier, this is also an amazing de-stressor. He also speaks to the nature of this type of Warrior that has deep feelings and whose heart is so soft, and so full, it can be easily touched. This Warrior he speaks of in terms of strength. I think people in social service, any helping profession, or anyone that is helpful no matter what their profession is, are Warrior’s like this.
I love this book because it is rejuvenating. It gives so much nourishment, and guidance for self care and recharges those resiliency batteries. Oh, and another emphasis the author places here, is that of living with an attitude of the “Rising Sun” or the “Setting Sun.” He describes both leaving a wonderful option for us to decide which to choose every minute of the day.
I recently remembered the amazing value of this next book when I was speaking with a colleague and mentioned it in passing; “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and it’s all small stuff.”
I told him more about it when he asked and he said he would get a copy. He did and raved about it. The book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff” really helps give you reason to let most things roll right off your back. It’s a small book with a mightily effective application. It provides perspective. I attribute it to one of my Supervisor’s saying to me that one of the reasons he enjoyed working with me was I knew how to “Let things roll off my back.” It was after some kind of very potentially troubling something or another, and I just kept it moving. As in, and so what can we do about the situation that would be helpful, moving right along. It is applicable to many situations. It offers additional information that wraps around sayings we’ve all heard, nicely, and not only are the sayings useful, their easy to remember like: “Choose your battles wisely. Not all battles are worth it!” Or, “Choose being kind over being right” or “You become what you practice most” and/or this one is a real good one, “Imagine everyone is enlightened except you!” He offers insights that will help ease you into a less stressful frame of mind, while again, adding that secondary twist you least expect. For example, for relaxation, and appreciation of precious, special moments, the author states, “Repeat to yourself life is not an emergency. Set aside quite time everyday. You’ll find you have time for yourself and not feel unappreciative of time with others.”
